How does a 45-year-old man get a girlfriend?

So, to answer your question…if a girlfriend is meant for you, she will find you or you her. God has a funny way of sending you what you need…when you need it most.

I rolled into Sturgis like a conquering hero, only thing is that there's about 100,000 people in a 3 block area, so nobody noticed. All I saw was hot chicks and boobs and bikes and bikers forever. Heaven awaits. So I'm gonna have to shorten the story a bit, so let's say I met a beautiful young lady at the Buffalo Chip that night. She looked like a Barbie doll in daisy dukes. After i’d been talking to her awhile she said ”can I ask you somthing?” I said “ask away.” She said “ we're at Sturgis, at the Buffalo Chip drinking beer. You look at me like you think I'm beautiful. At Ieast I hope. You have my full attention and I like you alot, so why do you look so sad?” The question kind of hung in the air like the smell of death. I hadn't told her that 5 days ago I had been in Iraq. I hadn't told her that my 2 pals had gotten killed or even that my wife had left me while I was gone for somebody else. So I told her. The whole story. Somebody I had only known for about an hour, my only confidante' on earth. After I said all I had to say I wrapped it up with “and to make matters worse, I've been gone for 18 months and I was really hoping my wife was gonna be there. I'm a desert horny M*fer.” So…in the army there's “horny,” the usual strain of horny, then there “desert horny” the super strain. If you've been gone to the desert for the last 18 months with a bunch of dudes that talk about killing people and sex constantly, when you get back home you are indeed “desert horny”. Beware of this condition because bad choices await the unsuspecting soldier. She looked at me intently for a minute. She said “So, we could stay here and watch the concert , OR “ she lowered her voice conspiratorially and put her lips to my ear, “ we could go to wherever you're staying and I can F*** your brains out”. She leaned back, gave me a smashing smile and said “for my country….like a duty or somthing since your wifes a mega bitch .” Well, that hung in the air for the blink of an eye before I literally snatched her up cave man style and ran out the Buffalo Chip carrying her over my shoulder(I'm glad she was laughing because it might have looked like I was stealing her) flung her on my bike and rode like my ass was on fire all the way to the campground where we couldn't find my tent , finally did, and into the palace we went, to Valhalla and beyond.

Sturgis …….I hadn't even known it was happening. Wasn't on my radar as I had only got home the day before. But as I was hauling ass towards Denver and then after, the great unknown. I stopped for gas outside Colorado Springs and there were a shit ton of bikers pulled in. I got to talking to 1 group and the asked me if I was heading to Sturgis. I was dumbstruck, DAMN THE LUCK. A bucket list item just fell in my lap, my wife left me (not technically but we’ll discuss that in another space)so I was single..ish and I had $40,000 in the bank. Oh.. and I was on leave…life is good.

Which race of women are the hottest?

I'll chime in on this one. When I was gone on my last tour in Iraq, I was 42, an old man by army standards. Came home, found out my wife if 18 years had gone AWOL with a former (former due to the obvious) friend of mine. They had flown the coop. This was probably a wise decision as pissing off a, returning home from the war, special ops soldier, is never a good primary plan. I was 42 years old and without any plan to be alone. It was a confusing time, I was hurt, I felt abandoned by my wife and my country, I had had a terrible tour losing 2 of my closest friends only to come home to this shit. So….there was in only one thing to do. I got on my Harley, turned it's nose North towards Denver, and throttled hard to…….